Is This the New Year?

Tonight is New Year's Eve, a famous moment for clinking glasses, looking back on the past year's triumphs (or regrets) and hoping that the new year is a clean beginning of fresh blessings to come. Along with said champagne and reminiscing thoughts usually also comes a resolution - that this will finally be the year we lose weight, are nicer to people, save more money, volunteer more, or __[fill in the blank]__. My office offers some relatively random but usually enjoyable training classes, and I took one earlier this month called "This Year I Will" (taught by M.J. Ryan who also has a book by the same title). The gist of the class was that we need to keep in mind a couple key items to actually succeed in those well-intentioned resolutions:

1. Be specific (this includes lots of annoying 'hows?' - like how will you save money? what are you willing to do to lose weight? how will you specifically measure accomplishing your goals? etc etc)

2. Positive feedback. Our instructor pointed out that after someone receives a job review in which the majority of items are things they need to improve on, their job performance typically drops by an average of 28%. Whereas people with largely positive reviews subsequently improve their job performance. Why? We are wired for positive feedback (or so says Ms. Ryan). Her point is, if we make a resolution to go the gym 5 times a week and we only go twice, we usually respond by telling ourselves how pathetic we are that we only went twice. Instead we should congratulate ourselves on successfully going twice, and consider next week a new start.

The moral of the story? Pick a resolution that is something you truly want to do. Then give yourself a break after the stumbles along the way. (After all, as Ryan explained, babies learning how to walk don't tell themselves "Stupid baby!" after falling, they just ignore the fall and keep going).

In a somewhat related tangent, my godparents introduced Chris and I to New York artist Ian Axel. One of his songs (sung with Chad Vaccarino) is "This is the New Year." Besides an appropriate title for this time of year, the lyrics are a good reminder of the true meaning of a new year - that in the end we have one another. So let's toast to a new year, a new beginning, ignoring skinned knees we may pick up along the way, and embracing who we are and who we find along the way.

Another year you made a promise
another chance to turn it all around
and do not save this for tomorrow
embrace the past and you can live for now
and I will give the world to you

Speak louder that the words before you
and give them meaning no one else has found
The role we play is so important
we are the voices of the underground
and I would give the world to you

Say everything you’ve always wanted,
be not afraid of who you really are,
cause in the end we have each other,
and that's at least one thing worth living for...