Is This the New Year?

Tonight is New Year's Eve, a famous moment for clinking glasses, looking back on the past year's triumphs (or regrets) and hoping that the new year is a clean beginning of fresh blessings to come. Along with said champagne and reminiscing thoughts usually also comes a resolution - that this will finally be the year we lose weight, are nicer to people, save more money, volunteer more, or __[fill in the blank]__. My office offers some relatively random but usually enjoyable training classes, and I took one earlier this month called "This Year I Will" (taught by M.J. Ryan who also has a book by the same title). The gist of the class was that we need to keep in mind a couple key items to actually succeed in those well-intentioned resolutions:

1. Be specific (this includes lots of annoying 'hows?' - like how will you save money? what are you willing to do to lose weight? how will you specifically measure accomplishing your goals? etc etc)

2. Positive feedback. Our instructor pointed out that after someone receives a job review in which the majority of items are things they need to improve on, their job performance typically drops by an average of 28%. Whereas people with largely positive reviews subsequently improve their job performance. Why? We are wired for positive feedback (or so says Ms. Ryan). Her point is, if we make a resolution to go the gym 5 times a week and we only go twice, we usually respond by telling ourselves how pathetic we are that we only went twice. Instead we should congratulate ourselves on successfully going twice, and consider next week a new start.

The moral of the story? Pick a resolution that is something you truly want to do. Then give yourself a break after the stumbles along the way. (After all, as Ryan explained, babies learning how to walk don't tell themselves "Stupid baby!" after falling, they just ignore the fall and keep going).

In a somewhat related tangent, my godparents introduced Chris and I to New York artist Ian Axel. One of his songs (sung with Chad Vaccarino) is "This is the New Year." Besides an appropriate title for this time of year, the lyrics are a good reminder of the true meaning of a new year - that in the end we have one another. So let's toast to a new year, a new beginning, ignoring skinned knees we may pick up along the way, and embracing who we are and who we find along the way.

Another year you made a promise
another chance to turn it all around
and do not save this for tomorrow
embrace the past and you can live for now
and I will give the world to you

Speak louder that the words before you
and give them meaning no one else has found
The role we play is so important
we are the voices of the underground
and I would give the world to you

Say everything you’ve always wanted,
be not afraid of who you really are,
cause in the end we have each other,
and that's at least one thing worth living for...

A 600 Turkey Day

Now that we are in the pre-Christmas winter months, people's thoughts turn to gifts, parties, and (hopefully) giving back to the community. My office is no exception, and since we get 2 days per year as paid time off to volunteer, five of us from accounting went for the day to help out at the Bowery Mission. Founded in 1879, the Bowery is one of the largest homeless aid organizations in the city.

A little known fact is that NYC is the only city in the country legally required to provide shelter for anyone who seeks it. Yes, anyone. The city is required to find a bed for each and every person who seeks it out, and on cold nights NYC has even rented out entire cruise ships to shelter people.

So what makes the Bowery so special, when the city would shelter the homeless? Besides the fact that Chris and I know the Bowery's president and his wife (whom we deeply respect), the Bowery has a unique approach to the city's marginalized by offering both short term and long term care. So yes, they do serve three meals a day, 365 days a year, providing clothing and shelter as well to meet immediate needs. But, crucially, they also have long-term programs where men and women stay between 6 months - 2 years and receive computer training, financial/spiritual/personal counseling, and have rotating jobs within the Bowery organization so that they have job experience on their resume when they leave. The womens' program, for instance, doesn't graduate a resident until she meets 5 criteria, including that they have a job, have a place to live (Bowery helps them save wages to afford a deposit while they live in the program), and are reconciled to their family.

All this as background to say that I deeply believe the Bowery has a powerful approach to helping those in need, and I was excited to help out in preparing Thanksgiving meals.

Still, I was totally astounded by the sheer scope of the work Bowery goes through to serve Thanksgiving. I had read they serve 3,800 people on Thanksgiving day, but it is another matter entirely to see volunteers working in shifts around the clock (literally!) to get 600 turkeys, 1,000 lbs of potatoes, 900 pies, and 800 pounds of stuffing prepared and cooked. My co-workers and I helped prepare turkeys, peel potatoes, make stuffing, organize the pantry and other odd jobs (below).








Let me add here that when I heard 1,000 lbs of potatoes and 800 lbs of stuffing, I imagined huge industrial boxes of potato flakes and Stouffer's stuffing getting mixed with hot water. Not so. The Bowery believes strongly in treating the homeless with with dignity, and as such everything was made from scratch. I believe the main thought going through my mind all day was "Holy moly!"... huge stacks of potatoes lined the pantry, and each was hand peeled, baked and mashed for mashed potatoes. Other groups of volunteers did nothing all week long but dice loaves of bread to be mixed with broth and spices for homemade stuffing. Wow.

After 8 hours picking turkey meat, hand mixing huge containers of stuffing, dicing bread, stacking pies, and unloading trucks of donated food, we were all exhausted to the bone - but it's great to be a part of such an exciting effort in the city!

How will you get involved to give back?